Day 12

Well I'm doing well keeping to my WW points plan - it's been sooooo easy! But I need to drink more water and I'm right on schedule with my weight loss goal of losing 2 pounds each week.

Yay!

Plus, yesterday we went hiking and I didn't even get winded! Our new house has stairs and I guess it's helping out with me physically too!

Double yay!

Day 5

Well, I'm on day #5 of my new WW and eating healthy - it's been sooooo easy and I even have points left over at the end of the day! I hope that this time I can stick to it. Losing the weight is the easy part for me. The difficult part is dealing with the emotional funk it puts me in.

When I was abused, I was thin and sexy so I have partially blamed myself for being abused. ( I know now that it had nothing to do with me, that it was scumbags to blame)

But........I tend to start freaking out when the weight starts coming off and I think someone is going to get me. And I start feeling better about my image, and that sets off mental garbage and triggers other memories. (I'm not good enough, I'm dumb, I'm really a loser.....all kinds of crap)

So.........I want to work hard at taking care of myself and putting a stop to the damages that have been done to me - and all the negative feelings. It is time to reclaim MYSELF and truly live.

One little step at a time - I can be successful

We're IN - finally!! ( Now back to Etsy goodies )

Yep - that was the longest 6 months! But we are in our new home and loving it! Now I can get back to making things - I just love to create!

I'll get back to writing about other fabulous shops too, so be sure to check back often - Etsy artists have so much to offer!

I'm going to do a piece on pottery next - I love pottery and have seen so many beautiful pieces on Etsy - come on back and see what I've found!

We're almost in!!!

Well, this has been a long 6 months in the making - building a house is STRESSFULL! But, this should be the last week - it should be done this week and we can start moving in!!

I don't think it has sunk in yet that it is our home - eeeeep! Very exciting!

I am so sick of Lowes Hardware - it will be nice not to go there a million times each week!

Our countertops were installed last week and they are just beautiful - I'm so ready to move!

Poetry

To the Child I Lost

A wonderful new journey that started
in my womb........

Three days of amazing excitement and
happiness sadly turned to darkness and
gloom.

What went wrong? It is such a shame.
In my heart and mind, it is my own
body that is to blame.

I loved you from the moment I learned of
you. I was so happy at the thought of having
not one child, but two.

Sadly, we were unable to meet. Your due date
would be soon, just a few more weeks........

I longed to feel you growing inside me -- to feel
your numerous kicks. I would have been
here for you always, to take care of you when
you got sick.

I miss you so much. I wish you were here. In my
heart always, you will be near........

I love you.

In April 2002 I found out that I was pregnant and then I misscarried just 3 days later. This put me into a bad depression, and months later I wrote this poem in honor of that little life that was not to be.

Soooo Exhausted!

Well, I'm feeling a bit better now that I have my meds again. This past week we've done so much painting on our new house that I'm about in tears from sheer exhaustion! But, nearly all the painting is finished, and we got all the pine in the house all clear coated yesterday! Whew!!
What a job! Especially in the great room with 26' high ceilings!

The flooring is being delivered tomorrow so we can't wait to see it! And the cabinet maker is staining all our cabinets tomorrow too so those will be ready to go in soon.

The fireplace is turning out gorgeous and I'll post some pics when it is done - we are so excited!

I think I'll go sleep the afternoon away now..................

Take your MEDS!!

So how can I complain that I don't feel well if I am not taking my meds like I'm supposed to?
Well, DUH I'm not feeling good!
I take thyroid medication - twice a day (supposed to that is) - and it makes me feel better when I take it like I'm supposed to. I also take Cymbalta for my mental/emotional support - I've been out of those pills for a few days now.

All I feel like doing is sleeping and crying - I feel soooooo horrible! Why do I do this to myself? I honestly don't know! But I am going today to get my Cymbalta refilled and heading into the kitchen now to take my thyroid medication.

*bangs head on desk*

oye!

I hope it kicks in soon!
:(